Ice Cream Causes Shark Attacks, And Vaccines Cause Autism

Icream and Sharks 2

Vaccines cause autism.

Or at least that is what we hear day in day out, splashed across the internet from groups of people who fail to grasp the essence of peer review science.

How can we engage with a community who view ‘science’ with such outright suspicion? With name calling, conspiracy theories, natural immunity, and a recent survey  saying that scientific pro-vaccine messages don’t work, what can the scientific community do to show the world that there is no vaccine-autism link?

We’ve decided to play the antivaccine mob at their own game. If a mere correlation is enough to show vaccines cause autism, then there are alot more things in the world to be worried about:

Eating Ice Cream Causes Shark Attacks

A paper from 2011 in Causation/Correlation depicts a correlation between ice cream consumption and rising number of shark attacks. Want to protect your kids? Stay away from ice cream.

A paper from 2011 in Causation/Correlation depicts a correlation between ice cream consumption and rising number of shark attacks. Want to protect your kids? Stay away from ice cream.

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The number of vaccines given to young children has risen substantially over the last two decades. During the same period, the number children diagnosed with autism has increased substantially, with the CDC just a few weeks ago increasing the likely hood of autism from 1-in-88 children to 1-in-68.

The bizarre thing is, even if we step away from the science behind vaccine safety, there still is not a case to be made. The CDC note that the number of children diagnosed with autism varies from 1-in-175 children in Alabama, to 1-in-45 children in New Jersey. The funny thing is that Alabama’s vaccine coverage for children between 19-35 months is 10.17% higher than New Jersey’s coverage.

The divergence between Alabama and NJ in terms of autism diagnoses vs. vaccine coverage suggests that the number of autism diagnoses rises regardless of vaccinations. A better explanation for this exponential increase in autism diagnoses is that it is cultural. It is a feature of our ever changing approach to medicine and our changing environments.

From rising levels of child neglect, to improved screening methods, or changes in the definition of autism. Many of these things can account for rising autism levels, as well as the apparent 400% increase in mental health problems amongst the US population, or the increasing number students labelled with dyslexia.

The moral of the story: correlation is not causation.

Ice cream and sharks source herePirates and global warming source hereAutism and organic vegetables source hereObesity and debt source hereIE and murder source here.

Comments 8

  1. CassandraofDelphi

    Cameron, you should’ve stayed with philosophy. This article is as convincing as tobacco science was in the 50s.

    1. Vaccine Nation

      Hi CassandraofDelphi,
      I’m glad to hear that you didn’t find the article convincing. It’s not supposed to be. It’s supposed to illustrate in a light hearted fashion that, in regard to scientific anti-vaccine arguments, there is no reason to believe in a meaningful link between vaccines and autism any more than there is a link between ice creams sold and shark attacks.

      1. CassandraofDelphi

        Vaccine encephalopathy is real and 1 in 68 children with autism is not a light hearted matter. Of course, I am telling this to the wrong crowd.

          1. Roxanne

            There are too many variables involved to support the link between vaccines and autism. One important one that is over looked is the diagnosis process. There are disparities among various groups that prevent diagnosis. We must remember children can only be diagnosed IF they are evaluated. A great many people do not bring their children to regular physician visits. We must also take into account that many people diagnosed with something within the autism spectrum that have never been vaccinated.

  2. Jack

    Oh crap! The ice cream industrial complex strikes again. I’ve been warning people about the evils of Big Dairy for years. They’re responsible for all sorts of summer ailments: ticks, sand between toes, sunburn and bird poop on my car. Seriously, though. Good work. Correlation and Causality are difficult concepts for some people and it often takes something absurd to open someone’s eyes.

  3. Veli Albert Kallio

    The autism and earlier MMR scares only highlight the same problem the climate scientists face. All sorts of bongo-bongos come as ‘commentators’ and ‘experts’ to claim that universities or IPCC are merely a big con plan (they cannot claim that any commercial big pharma is behind climate models). The old adage “a little knowledge is dangerous knowledge” applies for both climate and medical sciences. Few other sciences draw such non-expert interest to comment or act upon. This is probably because we all feel stakeholder interest towards health and weather issus, our days can be cloudy or sunny.

    If one persons cancer goes into unexpected remission while changing to eat, say, beet root, fine! The problem lies that the remissions occur naturally and may well have taken place without any influence from the dietary change assigned. What the bongo-bongos then do is to tout their miraculous ‘recovery’ story in all media much like a Pentecostal prayer and spiritual healers do. Others will follow this anticipated ‘miracle cure’ hype to their own destruction much like the pied piper of hamelin attracting the children to their destruction.

    All sorts of natural healers offer ‘helping hand’ over the big, bad, white coat doctors and the conspiracies of big pharma. Even if someones liftestyle or dietary change led to a remission, the fact is that few cancers have same exact histology. This also applies for autism and carrot juice – the panacea for all ailment since childhood motherly love.

    Whilst governments’ 5 Vegetables and Fruits A Day is a good generic guide for dietary intake, the natural healing fanatics habitually apply one ‘petty thing’ to almost everything that is wrong under the sun. These miracle potions may offer placebo and peace of mind much like the ineffective homeopathic products on sale – but nothing more. Coincidental correlation and Causative correlation may appear same on the surface but the former one is empty of actuall contents (huff and puff) whereas the latter one is solid stuff inside. Well written article!

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